After twelve years of marriage to his Canuck here, eight years as a resident of Canada, three babies, and countless double-doubles, my husband officially became a dual citizen of Canada this past spring.
To celebrate the day, we decided to embark on a day filled with Canadian stereotypes. We took the tinies out of school, and after the ceremony in Surrey, the day of Canadian Stereotypes commenced. We only had a day and that isn’t quite enough time for all the stereotypes so to start off: he received his own Team Canada hockey sweater. One must be properly attired, you understand.
Then it was off for buying hockey gear at Canadian Tire with Canadian Tire money. Then a maple dip doughnut and a double-double at Tim Horton’s using loonies and toonies. For lunch, we ate Montreal Smoked Meat and poutine at Annie’s in New Westminster (the best poutine we’ve found in the Lower Mainland). He learned not to be offended by the term “homo milk.” He called Coca-Cola “pop” instead of “soda.” As a carpenter, he’s already familiar with a Robertson screwdriver, so that was one we could leave off the list. He can spot a Canadian anywhere in the world by their use of the word “brutal.”
Then he curled up with a copy of Anne of Green Gables and a proper beer. There were a few lessons in how to apologise even when it is not his fault, and then a grammar lesson about the importance of adding a “u” to most of his words. He proved his ability to use the modifier of “eh” - turning statements into questions, NOT as a form of “huh?” – and he wore a toque for most of the day. And then he indulged in a bit of old fashioned tree-hugging and protesting.
He made fun of Toronto.
Later that night, we played street hockey with the neighbourhood kids. We strongly considered a visit to the ER just to cap it off but decided against it. It’s BC so no snow to shovel or Zamboni to ride. His chosen favourite hockey team – the Calgary Flames – hasn’t won much of anything for more than a decade and so now he’s also well acquainted with the resolute grief of cheering for a losing team.
Happy Canada Day to one of our newest Canadians, Bri. Sorry but we think you’re a pretty wonderful Canadian, buddy.