Yep – that’s three-year-old me in the red snowsuit on the left.
I’m so honoured to welcome Joan, yes, my own mum! I asked her a week or two ago to contribute to the Practices of Parenting Carnival.
Anything good or life-giving in my mothering came from my parents (who have been beautifully married for nearly 37 years now). I cannot fathom going through my life without the constant grace and wisdom of my parents alongside me.
I have always loved being her daughter and now I love being her friend.
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| I miss the 80s sometimes. |
My Practices of Mothering
by Joan Styles
I will attempt to put my heart into words on a page but it will definitely be a very small part of what mothering has meant to me.
I can honestly say that I didn’t give mothering too much thought before I became pregnant with Sarah.
However I quickly realized that I cared more for this little one forming on the inside of me than I had ever imagined possible! The very moment our little baby girl, Sarah Lynn, was born my focus changed.
Now I suddenly wanted to know how to be a good mother to her. I was so thankful when my friend, Maureen, came to visit me in the hospital in Regina to share her passion for breastfeeding. She told me all about breastfeeding and how important it was for baby and me, so that’s just what I did. At that time the term ‘attachment parenting’ wasn’t known to me, but that is exactly what it was. Day after day we grew closer, I never once passed up the opportunity to nurse my little one. What a beautiful gift we shared.
We trusted each other and to be honest, I was learning alongside her – learning to love.
But then I was now asking, what is love? Where does it actually come from? For me breastfeeding was where I saw God. I’m not sure how He used this simple act of nursing to draw me to Him but He did. It helped me to put Sarah needs ahead of my own – finally!
Giving my heart to my daughter was so natural and it started a journey of faith for me. It wasn’t too long after Sarah was born that I somehow knew in my heart that I didn’t have what it would take to love her, you know, unconditionally.
I would think to myself, “I love her so much!” But I was all of 23 years old at this time. I just didn’t have a confidence or trust that I’d know how to be a good mother.
Thus my journey to find answers to my question began. I decided to go the church. I think I believed in God – my grandparents went to church and some childhood friends did too. So off we went and THAT WAS IT! God Is Love, and through HIS love for me I was able to give it to Sarah.
I met Jesus, My Lord and Savior, My beloved, My Helper, the One who first LOVED me. 1 John 4:7 Beloved, let us love one another, for love is of God; and everyone who loves is born of God and knows God.
I realized very early in my days of mothering that if I had any hope of doing anything right, it would only be with and through my relationship with the Lord.
This is only a glimpse into my thoughts about mothering. I am so blessed to have two daughters, Sarah and Amanda. All these years later, I’m still learning from them both! I’m now a Granny of five beautiful, precious little Grandbabies. [Editor's Note: And a Grand-dog]
Maybe the best part is watching Sarah and Amanda as Mothers. They are devoted to their families and to the Lord. They are amazing Mothers! I love – love – love being their mother and totally love being Granny now to Anne, Joseph, Evelynn, Addison and Ariana.
Heart – and hands – are full.