deep breath….deep breath…deep breath….

I’m going to Haiti, friends. 

I was asked several weeks ago to consider joining a blogger trip to Haiti with Help One Now. After spending time investigating in more depth the work that they do in Haiti (I was impressed), talking to a few people I trust, hashing it out from all perspectives, including family logistics(!) with my husband, and, of course, doing my Holy-Spirit praying and heart-of-God seeking, I felt strangely compelled to go.

I say strangely because this isn’t the kind of thing that I do. In fact, I’ve been pretty honest about how I am sadly intimidated by poverty, and I am wary of my privilege, and my perspective, and I am weary of sensationalism, emotional manipulation. I’m afraid of leaving my tinies, and my husband, and I’m afraid of being a poverty tourist, and I’m afraid of having my life wrecked in a Jesus-sort-of-way, and I’m afraid of failing, and I’m afraid I’m making this all about me, and completely missing the point here. (It wouldn’t be the first time.)

But I am learning to be fearless. Perfect love casts out fear, and this is yet another casting out, by inviting in the beautiful and sacred and hopeful mess of real life. I want to love, and I want to love, and I want to love, and there is no room for fear now, no room for Self.

As I prayed, and talked it out with Brian, I felt some part of my heart, I think it might have been God because it seemed so outside of my own brain, say: just go.

Just go.

Leave all of your own evangelical hero complex baggage behind for once, and just go, innocent and wise and open-handed, treat everyone you meet with reverence, and crack open your heart, and worship together, and pray, and make friends, and see what the great I AM is already doing in Haiti, and bear witness to the every-day work of the Kingdom of God.

And then write about it, like you always do, just write it out.

Fear often sounds like a “no” and so fearless, for me, sounds like learning to say YES. Yes to writing the stories of the gorgeous, hope-filled people of Haiti. Yes to the local leaders that working and making space for God. Yes to meeting in real life the complex people of Haiti I’ve only ever known through a newspaper or a tv or a computer, and yes to seeing with my own eyes the community development work, and yes to everything that God has for us all together in each other.

There is nothing to fear. So yes, let’s go to Haiti.

The team of people is amazing (not sure how I fit, to be honest, but I’m not asking too many questions):

I leave on October 8 – Canadian Thanksgiving! pray for us over your turkey perhaps? – and I’ll be in Haiti that entire week. The plan – always subject to change – is to visit an orphange, a community development project, a tent city, a church service, and hang out with local pastors and leaders.

You can visit the team page here and pick up a few nifty blog badges to help spread the word. You can also learn more about how to help by sponsoring a kid or by holding a community garage sale for orphans there.

During the trip, we’ll be posting daily, but we’ll hopefully also be available on Twitter and Facebook. You can follow along in real time with the hashtag #Help1Haiti.

deep breath …deep breath….deep breath

In which I'm not preacher or a teacher, I'm an artist
In which I am here, breastfeeding, but not for much longer
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