In which I am learning to respond

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When your husband is in seminary, let me assure you, there are some odd discussions that take place. Our friends find it queer that, at any given time, we can be overheard hammering out the issues we have with the theology of election, our concept of the reciprocal nature of the Trinity and whether or not we will, in fact, attend the Reformation Day Party. Peppered into our conversations about how many poops the wee girl has had today and how long she slept at naptime and whether or not we need a litre of milk, Brian will suddenly drop a thought (like we’ve somehow been discussing it all along?) about why he loves Karl Barth and , why he still, even after years of study at Regent, has not yet accepted Reformed theology. Poor Anne has to listen to our nonsense all the time. She’s become a big fan of her Dad though, usually saying “Yep” or laughing after everything he says like he’s the smartest guy in the world. I call her the Peanut Gallery and am always hoping to convince her of my intellectual superiority or at least, equality.
Good times.
Anyway, that brings me to the latest thing we’ve been discussing lately. Brian has been studying reformed theology and specifically election (i.e. God chooses us to be saved – by default, not choosing others). It’s a very complex issue and, no doubt, I’d piss off everyone if I tried to sum it up. As we used to say when I worked with a bunch of old Air Force guys, it’s above my pay grade. But that doesn’t stop us from chasing it around the living room or in the car (again, feel sorry for our children) to our heart’s delight. Even after these years of study, we’re rather surprised by the fact that we don’t agree with it.
As a result, Brian has been working on a thesis about the reciprocal nature of our relationship with God. That, while God invites, we must respond. He likens the journey of faith to a dance…sometimes it’s two steps forward and other times it’s three steps back. Which means that rarely is our journey of faith a linear thing. In an ideal world, perhaps or in those vile “3 Steps to Knowing You’re Saved” books (or, if you’re Reformed, “3 Steps to Knowing You’re One of the Elect” ).
It’s made me try to define my own relationship with God a bit better. If I don’t believe (and I don’t) that God chooses some to be saved and others to be damned, if I believe that we do have free will and that there are two sides to salvation and faith (God’s and ours) then what does that mean? It doesn’t mean that I think we save ourselves nor that we are working for our salvation. I do believe in prevenient grace but not irresistible grace….which means that I think that God moves in our hearts long before we’re aware of him but we still have the free will to resist that invitation.
And just for the record, I don’t think that we, as Christians, have a God box. That the only time the spirit of God enters a room is when we’re there. I think God is already at work in the lives of those who wouldn’t recognise him. I think that’s part of the reason why I am so passionate about giving people the benefit of the doubt – you never know what is going on in their heart of hearts. I really do think that there is prevenient grace all around us, whether we recognise it or not. We don’t have distribution rights on God. I remember hearing in a sermon once that all those beautiful things we feel, even before we know God, like falling in love and that joy of having your babies and that thirst we have for justice – those are all God’s grace already working in our lives. I like to tell people that when they ask me about my faith. They usually feel so incredibly excluded by Christians. So I like to tell them that God’s already in their life and all they have to do is respond to it and recognise it and embrace it for what it is – a gift from God and an invitation to a deeper life of more of that. It’s amazing when the relief washes over their face. They KNOW those feelings aren’t them and that somehow they feel that yearning for something more, deeper, better and they get flashes of it now and then. They recognise the grace of God when it’s identified, especially friends we have that have children. They get it.
Anyway, that’s a tangent. I meant to write about the fact that I’ve come to the conclusion that I see much of the Christian life as response. One of my very favourite quotes from my pastor in university is that “Christianity is not our responsibility. It’s our response to God’s ability.” And that about sums it up for me. I see salvation as a response. I see healing as our bodies responding to God. I see worship as a response. I have come to see a lot of Scripture as invitation. It’s like that passage of Scripture about Jesus standing at the door, knocking, waiting for us to open the door. I see everything in my life as God-initiated, a hand out for a turn about the room together, an invitation to be a part of what God wants to do in my life, the relationship he longs to have, the work he’s about in the world around me etc.
As I’ve realised this, it’s changed how I view my relationship with God. I want to respond more to his leading. I want to read the Bible more so that I recognise his voice and learn from him. The invitation is always to be like him. That’s the essence of discipleship to me: learning to be more like the Father. So that when people need to know what manner of love the Father has given unto us, there is a path to trace in our lives. I think that the more we tie ourselves to Jesus, the more we look like him. It’s kind of like a family – you all kind of walk the same, talk the same, use the same gestures. I think that’s what the family of God is supposed to be like.
I see so many invitations around me. And I think that God is inviting people – all people – all the time. Sometimes it is a dance of forward and back and other times, it’s a straight path. Some people don’t even know to identify Jesus as the one they’re responding to yet. But God is always inviting.