I see God in the strangest of places and in the unlikliest of people. I saw a woman today, in her business suit, come out of a coffee shop and walk over to a dirty little street kid in her heels, bend down, touch his hair with great tenderness and lay an entire breakfast at his feet before straightening to briskly walk back to her office. I have to admit that I cried over it all the way to work (drat those hormones – my ability to cope has significantly decreased these last few weeks!).
It started a while ago – I’d see two boys in the playground or a young mum in the pool with her baby or a group of people rejoicing at a wedding, for instance – and I’d feel my breath catch in my throat.
It was Jesus, everywhere I looked. That marvelous love, that pace and rhythm of grace, the “ten thousand places of Christ playing”.
I’d find myself either near tears or breathless with worship. What a God we serve, that he shares this privilege, these “eyes to see” with us.
I think that might be why Angie Smith’s recent post, entitled “Blink“, impacted me so much. I recognised it as the place where God has had me for the last few years. Just seeing these small glimpses, these small moments where the veil is drawn back and I see Jesus, alive and well, moving and mattering, in the centre of the stage and in the margins. It started to blow my mind that just as I heard the voice of God in church or in Scripture, I could hear the voice of heaven in music, feel the worship in art, be surprised by Scripture, experience the beauty of not just the world around me but the people and lives around me. I was seeing how God shows up everywhere, in the lives of many in a million ways.
In a way, it’s helping me to let go of what the apostle John called “debilitating self-criticism”, getting my eyes off myself (and my failings, my shortcomings, my selfish needs, the size of my pants, the hundreds of ways that I still fall short in my own -and others – estimation). It’s helping me to walk in that atmosphere of great and abiding love. My soul has learned to rejoice in the daily, mundane details of life, the holiness of the everyday. If I have developed a deep and abiding love for people – known and unknown – how much more does the love of God overflow? If I, being a sinner, know to love my daughter and our unborn babies with such depth and ferocity, how much more is the love of God towards us…even me? If I have been so transformed and changed by the significant relationship of my life (Brian), how much more am I changed and transformed by my relationship with Jesus?
Longtime readers will know that this season of waiting, change and even the unanswered prayers (like for our miscarriages) has changed me. I’ve learned contentment in a way I never knew I needed to. I’ve learned love. I’ve learned faith. I’ve learned patience. I’ve learned to open my heart and my life to the perfect love of Christ, “experiencing his deep and abiding presence”. This process has given me eyes to see and a heart of flesh to experience his love. And I don’t think I’d change a moment of it.
The thing is that I feel really, truly present in my life, fully here, where God has placed me. I don’t feel a great sense of dissatisfaction or striving or work any longer. I feel …. loved. And secure in that.
What marvelous love the Father has extended to us! Just look at it—we’re called children of God! That’s who we really are. But that’s also why the world doesn’t recognize us or take us seriously, because it has no idea who he is or what he’s up to.
But friends, that’s exactly who we are: children of God. And that’s only the beginning. Who knows how we’ll end up! What we know is that when Christ is openly revealed, we’ll see him—and in seeing him, become like him. All of us who look forward to his Coming stay ready, with the glistening purity of Jesus’ life as a model for our own.
My dear children, let’s not just talk about love; let’s practice real love. This is the only way we’ll know we’re living truly, living in God’s reality. It’s also the way to shut down debilitating self-criticism, even when there is something to it. For God is greater than our worried hearts and knows more about us than we do ourselves.
And friends, once that’s taken care of and we’re no longer accusing or condemning ourselves, we’re bold and free before God! We’re able to stretch our hands out and receive what we asked for because we’re doing what he said, doing what pleases him. Again, this is God’s command: to believe in his personally named Son, Jesus Christ. He told us to love each other, in line with the original command. As we keep his commands, we live deeply and surely in him, and he lives in us. And this is how we experience his deep and abiding presence in us: by the Spirit he gave us. (excerpts from John 3, The Message).
Oh, and on a completely different note, don’t forget to enter my contest for a new book! Pass the word – the drawing isn’t until Friday night!
