A couple of people have noticed a book I read a few entries ago called “So You Don’t Want to Go to Church Anymore” by Jake Colsen. I thought I’d post my thoughts on it.
For those of you unfamiliar, here’s the synopsis:
What would you do if you met someone you thought just might be one of Jesus original disciples still living in the 21st Century? That’s Jake’s dilemma as he meets a man who talks of Jesus as if he had known him, and whose way of living challenges everything Jake had previously known. So You Don t Want to Go To Church Anymore is Jake’s compelling journal that chronicles thirteen conversations with his newfound friend over a four-year period and how those exchanges turn Jake’s world upside-down. With his help, Jake faces his darkest fears, struggles through brutal circumstances and comes out on the other side in the joy and freedom he always dreamed was possible. If you’re tired of just going through the motions of Christianity and want to mine the depths of what it really means to live deeply in Christ, you ll find Jake s story will give you hope for your own. This book probes the difficult questions and offers some far-reaching answers. It just might turn your world upside-down as well!
“Jake Colsen” is actually a pseudonym for two former pastors named Wayne Jacobson and Dave Coleman. My understanding is that this book started off as a blog or journal. Over four years, they’d post portions and everyone would interact with it. Eventually when they “finished”, they decided that since it had been such an incredible journey that it needed to be published as a book. So they reformatted it into more of a story and this is the result. They are published by the same group that published “The Shack” which is a book that, while not perfect, really impacted me. I picked up this book on the recommendation of The Shack’s author as well as several friends that had read either the book or the blog.
I have to confess that I really resonated with the title. Because to be honest, a lot of times, I don’t want to go to church anymore. (Can a woman whose husband is a pastor admit that?) I have felt the futility of the exercise. I have felt the exhaustion of expectations. I have been frustrated with the hierarchy, the programs, the seemingly endless parade of sameness. I have felt like I didn’t fit in. And I have felt tired of gossip and innuendo, of performance driven bland, monotonous “cultural Christianity”. I have even left church saying “Well, that was a waste of time.” I understand, in particular, the frustration and exhaustion of full-time ministry staff. A lot of what we do just isn’t working. I understand the whole “that’s not the church, WE are the church” thing. I’ve expanded my view of church a lot in the last few years. And experienced a lot of freedom and change along with the ongoing frustration of seeing a continually weak and ineffective church remain irrelevant to the world. And particularly been grieved by it.
So when this book came around, I was ready to love it. And I didn’t.
I read all the testimonials and blogs of people who read it and whose LIVES WERE CHANGED FOREVER!!! (but imagine that statement with about four times as many exclamation points…) And I have to shrug and say “Meh.”
First of all, I didn’t think it was well written. It was choppy and felt like they were force-fitting dialogue. But hey, I can get over that and press through. But seriously. It’s like it should have been an essay that they force-fit into a story.
But there is a lot that I did like about it. The story itself really resonated with me. It really dealt a lot of fair but heavy criticisms at “how” we “do” church.
“Once you build an institution together you have to protect it and its assets to be good stewards. It confuses everything. Even love gets redefined as that which protects the institution and unloving as that which does not. It will turn some of the nicest people in the world into raging maniacs and they never stop to think that all the name-calling and accusations are the opposite of love…
It’s love with a hook. If you do what we want, we reward you. If not we punish you. It doesn’t turn out to be about love at all. We give our affection only to those who serve our interests and withhold it from those who do not.”
On living free of dependency on leaders:
“That’s where religion has done the most damage. By making people dependent on its leaders, it has made God’s people passive in their own spiritual growth. We wait for others to show us how, or even just follow them in hopes that they’re getting it right. Jesus wants this relationship with you and he wants you to be an active part in that process.”
“But can we do it on our own? Don’t we need some help?” Marsha asked.
“Who said you’re alone? Jesus is the way to the Father. As you learn to yield to his Spirit and depend on his power, you’ll discover how to live in the fullness of his life. Yes, he’ll often use other people to encourage or equip you in that process, but the people he uses won’t let you grow dependent on them. They wouldn’t dare crawl between you and the greatest joy of this family—a growing relationship with the Father himself.”
I loved the emphasis on the relationship with the Father. The “realness” and “meatiness” of what a real relationship looks like. The reality of a family versus an “institution”. It gave me a lot to think about. There were several times that I thought “Yeah, that’s right on” or “Ouch”. Both are good marks, I think.
But here’s what I didn’t like: it made things very much an “either-or” situation. Either you were in a relationship or you were in an established church. For all it’s faults and failings, I love church. I love The Church. Sure, it’s not perfect. But I felt the hackles on the back of my neck rise up in response to this blanket statements about organized religion, leadership and other matters that were targeted. It’s not that I disagreed with the motivation or even necessarily their logic (although sometimes I did). It was more that it savoured largely of bitterness and cynicism than grace. (My primary thought during the book was that these two guys are very very very very bitter.) It seemed like they had forgotten that the “established church” is just as made up of people as anything else. And they are not the enemy to your relationship with Jesus. Much as you’d like to make them the enemy and blame them, well, as they say in Texas, that dog don’t hunt. In a way, it made me realise that, yes, I do still want to go to church. It made me remember all the millions of relationships that were created as a direct result of the dreaded “church establishment”.
I have seen a lot of crap at church. And I have seen a lot of of Jesus there too.
One analogy they make is that church is about obligation and roles but family is about love. I beg to differ. A successful or healthy family often is very dependent on obligation and roles and even rules. Things like “we have every other Christmas together” and “Here’s how we do things” and “Sunday suppers are sacred” and “You don’t talk to your brother like that”. There is a lot of love but love doesn’t exclude rules and obligation. It felt like a weak connection. To me, church is exactly like family. Part relationships, part love, part faith, a lot of grace, part obligation, part craziness, part dysfunction and part glory. Families aren’t perfect; neither is church. I completely agree that church is meant to be family but let’s be honest about what family is.
Another thing that bothered me is that I felt that they missed the entire point of the church. If the entire point of church is for you and Jesus to get yours, then we can all go to our bunkers and go home to be with Jesus. I felt like there was a vast gaping hole, never discussed, about what is the MISSION of the church? It was very “navel-gazing” for me, very selfish and very self-indulgent. The missional nature of the church was blithely skipped over as though it had no bearing.
It felt like a lot of opinions. In a way, it was like sitting with your friends, bitching about church and how “they” don’t get it, writing it all down and then publishing it. It lacked a lot of scholarly credibility for me. It lacked anything solid. It felt fluffy and a lot of “feelings”. I didn’t agree with some of the theology but that’s not necessarily a prerequesite for me enjoying a book. But enough of it was jarring that I wanted to note it.
Finally, I struggle with the lack of Scripture. It’s the girl that was raised Word of Faith in me coming out. I can’t fathom people that lightly dismiss Scripture and its importance in the relationship, let alone everything else. Isn’t it part of the conversation?
Overall, I closed the book with a bit of a bad taste in my mouth. I liked parts of it and parts of it really resonated with me. But overall, it didn’t sit right.
