I am about to turn 30 (THIRTY! ME! *faint*) next month.
March 19th, in case you’d like to send me some money.
Anyway.
A few girls in the Internets are having some fun writing a letter to themselves at 20. And so, I decided to indulge. 
(Yes, this is me at 20. And yes, that’s Brian. I told you were babies when we got together!)
Dear Sarah:
I don’t have much time. Your two tinies (yes, you get two tiny children!) are napping at the same time at this very moment. And we don’t know how long this will last.
So we need to make this snappy.
1. Don’t dye your hair black. It will take forever to remove and you’ll end up cutting off your cherished waist length hair over it.
2. That boy you’ve been with since you were 16 but are kind of breaking up with right now? It’s okay. You’re both going to be so much better for this. He’s not the one. And you’re not his “one”. Now let go.
3. You know that guy you just had a date with for the first time just a few weeks ago? Brian? You remember that odd feeling on your first date that you knew each other and that you felt like you were already in love? Not that you were falling in love but that you already loved each other wildly? You do. And it’s just going to get better.
4. When you get married (see #3), don’t bother starting your real life yet. I know you feel a lot of pressure to be smart and responsible. But I think you should just throw your stuff in storage and hit the road for a few years together. All of the responsibilities will be there for the rest of your life. A few years in hostels and campgrounds across the world with your soulmate won’t.
5. Make it a priority to visit your grandmothers. You’ll feel like you didn’t get enough of their stories by the time they’re gone. Talk to the women in your family, listen to their stories.
6. Wear a bikini. Seriously. In about ten years, you’ll look back on pictures of yourself and think “I HAD THE BELLY OF A POP STAR!”
7. Stop drinking so much coffee. I know you drink about 3 pots a day right now. What is up with that? In about ten years, you’ll be so sick of coffee that you’ll completely give it up when you get pregnant and never go back. You’ll drink tea instead.
8. Don’t let Brian talk you into buying that VW Jetta. It’s a piece of crap. Stick with your Honda.
9. Buy Google as soon as they go public. Then sell in 2007. If you could manage to do the same with Apple (maybe buy right before the iPod is launched…wait, you don’t know what that is yet….trust me – it’ll be huge) that would be great.
10. Pay off as much of your mortgage as you can while you are both still working. Save as much as you can. You’ll both kick yourselves in about 5 years when you realise how much of your income went to eating out.
11. Speaking of which, don’t eat out so much. You’re going to gain about 60 pounds over it and then have to work REALLY HARD to lose it and keep it off.
12. Wrap yourself in the Scriptures. They will be your lifeline many times.
13. Remember that we have a tendency to be a bit of a know-it-all. It’s okay to let it go sometimes and just listen.
14. Get your US citizenship when you have the opportunity. You can be dual. I promise you’ll kick yourself for not getting it eventually.
15. Stay in touch with your friends and cousins and family. You’ll need them more than you can foresee now.
16. It’s okay to weep and it’s okay to not know the answers. You’ll be mighty thankful you married a man that laughs with you because a sense of humour is going to come in very handy. There will be times when you feel that you are completely undone with not much left. God will meet you there. You and your husband will have a season of being in-between. It will be hard. But it will be beautiful. You’ll see. You’ll be carried.
17. When you decide to start a blog, don’t use Xanga. It’s weird and hard to use. Then you’ll be stuck nearly four years later with all of those blogs and a crappy site. What’s blogging? Never mind.
18. Don’t bother getting those cats. You’re just not an animal person. And that’s okay.
19. I know you worry about how you’ll be as a mother sometimes. Don’t. When your children are born, so is their mother. And you are more than enough. The depths of love you will have for them will overwhelm everything.
20. When it all comes down to it, you’ll find that it’s all about loving God and loving people. Do these things well.
21. You’re going to be a pastor’s wife. Stop laughing. I’m serious. Seriously. Now here’s the kicker – you’re going to love it. You’ll fall wildly in love with people and their stories and want to do life with them. This amazes us still.
22. Don’t be so hard on people. You’re going to learn compassion but it would be nice to start off with a bit more.
23. Pretty much nothing is black and white. Just so you know. There is a lot of beautiful grey and even more dazzling colours. You’re going to love learning this.
24. You want to change the world and feel rich with possibility right now. You’ll feel disillusioned after a few years. Don’t worry – that sense of the impossible will come back. The passion doesn’t die.
25. Don’t be so quick to indulge in those sales at Target. You’ll spend the rest of your days throwing that crap out. Just because it’s a good deal and you like it does NOT mean you have to buy it. Live simply sooner.
Finally, you’re headed for some big changes. You’re going to get married much sooner than you ever anticipated. You’re going to be working in corporate America. You’re going to live in a suburb in Texas. (It won’t be so bad.) You won’t publish your first novel in your twenties (maybe your thirties?). You’re going to give birth to beautiful babies. You’re going to move – a lot. You’re going to have almost everything you think you know deconstucted and put back together in a completely different way than you expected. Oh, the life ahead of you!
You’re going to stay up late and wander through your house just to gaze at these faces that you love and gloat over their loveliness to yourself. Then you’ll wind up on the porch, staring at the moon. And you’ll weep with joy at what you have been given. And then you’ll slide into the bed that your husband built for you and he’ll hold you all night long.
Love Yourself.
H/T to Missy at It’s Almost Naptime and Beth at Raising Three Sons.
