My youngest child is 14 months old. And she has never, not once, slept through the night.

In case you’re interested, that is roughly 426 nights, straight, of broken sleep for me. Give or take a few.

My first child slept 12 hours through the night from early infancy. My second child was a bit more of a challenge because we lived across the street from a busy urban fire station, but eventually, he, too, became a twelve-hour sleeper. We put our tinies to bed at 7 o’clock, and did not hear from them until the next morning. I waxed philosophic, contemplated writing a baby sleep book to share my wisdom.

Enter Evelynn.

Evelynn is healthy. She hardly ever cries. She has never had a bout with colic. She is happy and delightful. She is secure. She is loved. She is a good eater. She naps consistently and well.

And she does not sleep at night.

For a long time, exhausted and sick with longing for my bed, I tried every trick and tactic to help her sleep through the night. I grappled with my ideals, finally tried out the things I always swore I would never allow, but nothing ever worked. She was up, every hour or two, every night, every night, every night.

This was what she needed, clearly, and so I began to wonder, after several months, if maybe, just maybe, God had something here, for me, too?

Grace of God, will you be here for me in this?

Read the rest of this post at Micha Boyett’s swanky new Patheos blog (you may remember her as Mama::Monk).

This is my contribution to her vital series on finding the sacred in our everyday life.


In which I don't understand Syria
In which you are loved and you are free
thank you for sharing...
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  • A. Batterson

    Oh. My. Gosh.  So well written!  This ressonates with me too – though he slept through the night for the first couple months of life, he didn’t from about 5mos-12mos and it. was. rough.  Now that he is sleeping 11-12 hours I find myself missing him too 🙂  Love the way you personify this amazing time in our little ones’ lives.  

  • River has yet to sleep through the night and isn’t a crier either. I’m off to read the rest! 

  • Amanda

    My baby sounds like your Evelyn. He is 8 months old and NEVER cries. He is extremely sociable and loves people. He is always looking to smile at everyone.  He’s SO pleasant in every way.  But yes, at night, some times he wakes 5 times, sometimes only twice.  I tried some of the “gentle” sleep training techniques, but he would cry for 1.5 hours and ended up losing his voice.  Needless to say I was devastated and it took more than 2 weeks to get it back.  So, I’m holding onto faith that God will teach my son how to sleep when it is time…”All your children will be taught of the Lord and great will be their peace…”

  • Emily Wierenga

    awesome photo friend 🙂 and thank you again for sharing my book on your site. may God use it to reach people. bless you.

  • So I was trying to figure out a name for my blog that fits more with where I’m at now. (I’m so not brave enough to use my name. 🙂 ) the sacred everyday kept coming to me and it just fit so well, I searched it to see what else was out there and hello! This post….I guess I know where I stole that from now. 🙂

  • Sorry I’m late in commenting, but I wanted to thank you so much for writing this.  My 3 year old boy sounds like Evelynn.  He never slept through the night, even after he had weaned.  He still would wake up with either bad dreams or missing us.  Did anyone ever try to give you “advice?”  I was told to let him cry it out and my husband and I could not do that.  He sleeps through the night now, which is a good thing because now I’m up with his 6 week old sister!

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