As a response to my post here, here is a list of resources for couples who would like to shape their marriage on the biblically-based idea of mutual submission (often called “egalitarian marriage” in theological circles) between spouses.
This is a collaborative view of marriage based on Christian theology and tradition that serves as a faithful and prophetic alternative to patriarchal practices within marriage.
Some of these resources are theological in nature, others are more practical application. Some are overtly egalitarian while others simply embrace that theological position without labels. Most are overtly Christian, all are from diverse traditions, some are interfaith while others are appropriate for agnostics and atheists. You’ll have to see what works for you!
Here’s to joyful, life-giving, Jesus-centered, Kingdom-focused marriages!
Together: Reclaiming Co-Leadership in Marriage by Tim & Anne Evans
The Zimzum of Love: A New Way of Understanding Marriage by Rob Bell and Kristen Bell
The Marriage Book by Nicky and Sila Lee
As For Me and My House: Crafting Your Marriage to Last by Walter Wangerin Jr.
Very Married: Field Notes on Love and Fidelity by Katherine Willis Pershey
A Model for Marriage: Covenant, Grace, Empowerment, and Intimacy by Jack O. Balswick and Judith K. Balswick
The 7 Principles for Making Marriage Work: A Practical Guide from the Country’s Foremost Relationship Expert by John Gottman, PhD. and Nan Silver (John Gottman was highly recommended and has a lot of books so this might just be a jumping off point for his other works.)
Embracing the Body: Finding God in Our Flesh and Bone by Tara M. Owens
The Passionate Marriage: Keeping Love and Intimacy Alive in Committed Relationships by David Schnarch, PhD
The 5 Love Languages: The Secret to Love that Lasts by Gary D. Chapman
Sweet Surrender: How Cultural Mandates Shape Christian Marriage by Dennis Hiebert
Marriage Made in Eden: A Pre-Modern Perspective for a Post-Christian World by Alice P. Matthews and M. Gay Hubbard
Partners in Marriage & Ministry by Ronald W. Pierce
Fit to be Tied: Making Marriage Last a Lifetime by Bill & Lynne Hybels
Marriage: Building Real Intimacy by Bill Hybels
Beyond Sex Roles: What the Bible Says About A Woman’s Place in Church and Family by Gilbert Bilezikian
The Family: A Christian Perspective on the Contemporary Home by Jack O. Balswick and Judith K. Balswick
Love After Marriage: A Journey into Deeper Spiritual, Emotional, and Sexual Oneness by Barry and Lori Byrne
Preparing Couples for Love and Marriage: A Pastor’s Resource by Cameron Lee & James L. Furrow (premarital focus) (companion website)
Before the Ring: Questions Worth Asking by William L. Coleman (Premarital focus)
The Story of Marriage by John and Lisa Bevere
MarriageStrong via Fuller Theological Seminary
Refreshing Your Marriage with Jim and Cathy Burns
Get a Room! Couples Retreat with Soulation
Finding Your Equal in Dating & Marriage with Soulation
The Daring Way based on Brené Brown’s research
Marriage Still Rocks by John and Helen Burns
Full Marriage/Family Ministries
Real Life with Tim + Anne Evans
HomeWord with Jim Burns and Doug Fields
Doing Family Right with Dr. Dave and Donalyn Curie
Loving on Purpose by Danny and Sheri Silk
MarriageHelper 911 with Joe Beam
Websites, Groups, & Articles
The Purpose of Marriage is Not to Make You Holy by Jonathan Trotter for A Life Overseas
Michael and Amy Raburn’s Podcast (on marriage, ministry, and family)
#StayMarried Blog, Resources, & Podcast
My Own Marriage
Jesus Feminist (see Chapter 5 in particular)
My ongoing blog series about my own marriage is Love Looks Like including favourites:
[Love Looks Like] 14: On Marriage, Making Magic, and Demands
[Love Looks Like] 2:07 a.m.
[Love Looks Like] Room to Change
Disclaimer: I have not had the time to do a deep dive into each of these resources. So I cannot vouch for them personally. However, they have come to me highly recommended and so I am simply presenting them to you as possibilities. I’ve done my best to narrow the field to materials that support egalitarian teaching as much as I can without a deep dive into the material. As always, you may encounter ideas or teaching that is in opposition to your own beliefs or perhaps even offensive or hurtful. That is certainly not my intention but it is possibility. Fair warning then, some of these resources might be a great fit for you and your theology or marriage, others may not be. I will also add that there are vast swaths of marriage practicalities or theology that are under-represented in resources – any exclusion was not intentional but rather a reflection of my inability to find faith-based resources particular to every situation/nuance. I’m hoping to continue to add to this resource page over the coming months, particularly for the under-served of our church communities.