We’re all doing it scared.
No one has it all figured out. We’re all a bit messy, a bit imperfect, a bit of a wreck.
I’m gratefully disillusioned now. I know that the leaders, the world-changers, all have their junk just like I do: the only difference is they are showing up anyway.
I think that when I realised that no one has it figured out and you don’t have to be perfect to BEGIN, it freed me to begin to show up. Even though I have a lot of imperfections and mess, even though I’m disgustingly normal, I began to show up. Not only in my work but in my mind, my heart, my life, my soul, my mothering, everywhere. I began to live a seamless life.
When Glennon mentioned this “brutiful” (her word to say beautiful + brutal) idea of the Sacred Scared series, in theory, I was totally on board. Yes! I am gratefully disillusioned! Let me disillusion others!
But when I actually sat down to write, what came out of my heart and fell onto the page was terrifying. And convicting. And embarrassing. And normal.
I couldn’t believe I was going to share this. I couldn’t believe I was going to say it out loud. ON THE INTERNET. This was suddenly a very bad idea.
In fact, I had a panic about it a few days ago and rewrote something else entirely, something safer to share. It was the equivalent of a job interview when they ask you about your great weakness and you answer, oh, I work too hard. Barf. But Glennon gently pushed back because she is a good friend to me – and she knew I was going back into hiding. It took more courage to share this than it took to include the picture without make up and, sister, that is saying something.
And now it’s out there. I’m relieved. And squirmy. And feeling naked.
As she wrote this morning to introduce me and Shauna Niequist (whom I love with more ardor than is probably proper):
This series is about refusing to be ashamed of our humanity. The world is changed by scared people who JUST GO AHEAD AND SHOW UP SCARED AND FULLY HUMAN instead of waiting to morph into some sort of superhero before they start living. World changers show up, with their insecurity looming and their knees shaking – long before anybody gives them permission to show up. Don’t wait for permission and don’t wait for perfection. Do what you need to do. Fail wildly and try again. Fail again and try again, again. Keep failing and trying ’till you die. THAT’S THE STUFF. All the magic and connection and excitement and LIFE is in the flailing and failing with other messy, beautiful, brave folks. Trust me on that one. Love, G